Death of the $#@#$##@ Tie

For some of us males in the World, today is a momentous occasion. In fact it may just be the start of mens liberation. We, however are not burning our bras. Well I can only speak personally. Why burn my bra when it may come in handy for other uses.

What I am talking about out here in the greater west on our "lets look casual Friday" is the fact that unless for some unforeseen circumstance, I will never have to wear a ###### tie again. Thats it. No more pretending that my top button is done up. I didn't do a good job of pretending did I?

It does leave me with a number of dilemas.

Why, on "lets look casual Friday" when 75% of staff are looking immaculate in @@@@@ polo blue, is one staff member wearing a white shirt and a tie?

The other main dilema, apart from how do I spell dilema (one or two m's) is what to do with the old ties. I am looking for suggestions.

With the weather warming up and the tomato plants thriving, I will need something to tie up the plants to the stakes. A ****** tie is the perfect thing. Its also ugly enough to scare off any animal that may want to duck into my vegetable garden. Maybe I could use it as a headband for my Cronulla Sharks garden gnome

Perhaps in the hotter months we could get our ties together and make the thing that Borat was wearing in his movie. Surely a good look to bring customers back.

My biggest dilema however is where am I going to hide my name badge now? Its been attached to the bottom of my tie for years, ever since the Evil Emperor made me wear it. I took it off yesterday and it had started to rust.

Apparently %$#$%$$# were surprised by the large amount of orders for the blue shirts and ran out. Did they think that we were all going to get the white shirts with ties?

Anyway all you males out there, enjoy your liberation. Enjoy the fact that your natural voice will now be heard by the masses without the strangulating effect of buttons and ties. Enjoy the fact that you can now get the perfect "V" suntan on your neck when you are gardening, on your weekends off, in your %%%%%blue shirt (oops, sorry, thats a Parramatta thing).

Enjoy the fact that you can now eat a salad sandwich at luchtime and not have to duck into the toilets to wash the nasty beetroot stain from your shirtfront. Of course as a tradeoff, we can no longer spill liquid paper on our shirts.

Lastly, enjoy the fact, that from this day on, everyday at work will now become "lets look casual...insert day of the week here".

Of course I may not have taken into account that some of you may have may have ordered a white shirt requiring a tie. To you I sincerely say, "sucked in" and must inform you that you are not invited to any "lets look casual days" where you are wearing your tie.