Last Day

5.30am wake up and 6.30am bus pick up. I guess the biggest trick is getting the luggage weight down from 66 to 60kg. With some reorganisation and overloading of hand luggage, we tipped the scales at 60.7kg. That's a win.

Brunch included an ice cream. Another win.

Got a free train ride home and the Wattle Grove Taxi service picked us up.

A great holiday has come to an end, expertly designed by Annette Krause, the second best Travel Consultant in the house, and superbly budgeted by me.

I hope the 3 or 4 of you who have read this got some enjoyment.

Everything Hurts

Hips, legs, shoulders, body. It all hurts. I blame the flight. Good thing we paid extra for the better seats.

My body clock is way out so once I was awake I hit the streets and did 5km around the river. The time was slow but it is less than 2 months since my operation. I wonder when the statute of limitations runs out on that excuse. Annette hit the sauna and pool while I did the pool.

With a 50 percent discount on the hotel's buffet breakfast, it was an easy choice where to eat. After weeks of undercooked bacon it was good to see crispy bacon and with its accompanying maple syrup, 3kgs in additional weight seems quite fortunate.

Following this was a walk to, gulp, a street filled with material shops. Add the heat, jet lag, bacon X 3, and humidity, all following a run , I felt like crap. As Annette headed to more material shops, I was given leave to go to a department store. With Pepsi on hand I made it and the air conditioning saved my life. The prices were pretty expensive and my only purchase was deodorant. I headed back and once more went to sleep with a pillow as my blanket. Annette returned some time later with a brand new suitcase. She then headed out to more material shops with a 6pm meeting at China Town arranged.

Night markets aren't what they used to be, or I am not the shopper I once was. There was a time when 5 t-shirts guaranteed to shrink 5 sizes when washed, for only $10 was a bargain. I think we bought nothing. We did have a slap up Chinese meal though.

Back at the hotel we frantically tried to make 70kg into 60. Some rearranging would be needed at the airport.

Jet lag

England has no humidity because Singapore stole it all. The trouble with arriving at 5.30am and check in at 2.00pm is basically having to live with your body odour for extra time....I have 2 sprays of my Brut bottle left, and Annette's Mum bottle is almost gone too.

Where,  where, where would you be. Where would you be without Brut 33? or I can't get by without my Mum. Both classic deodorant ads, although the Uncle Sam ads will always win first prize. I may be suffering from aroma incredibelis.

Anyway, we wandered through humidity where we could actually see the water in the air. I found a muffin and a Fun Cola from 7eleven. I also saw Elvis Presley walk in before me (this was your musical knowledge test for the day).

We lobbed into the Lobby after 10am and they had a room for us. Next thing I know I'm sleeping on a bed in the freezing air conditioned room using a pillow to keep me warm. Not sure why a blanket didn't pop into my mind. At one stage I woke up and Annette had left a note saying she had gone out. I also noticed that my wallet was open and devoid of all cash.

Rested, we took the opportunity to test the hotel's device with Google Maps and it got us to the gardens on time. We purchased tickets to the skywalk only to be told at the entry that lightning had closed it down. A local satay meal was followed by a free light show (the best kind). Skywalk tickets refunded, we headed back only stopping for ice cream and m and m' s. I'm starting to realise where that extra 3kg came from.

York. Dick not Dwight

The problem with shopping in the morning and then doing the afternoon tour around York is the amount of newly purchased books you have to carry around. Books be heavy.

We had missed the early tour as our over zealous Europcar official had claimed we had damaged the car. We couldn't see the damage even as he was pointing to it. We explained that at pick up they had waved us away with additional scratches etc that we were reporting. Anyway, we missed the 1015 walk so spent some more money on books. I fear that many, even those not bought by me, are for me. I wonder if I can give Annette a Christmas present of "I will take you to England 3 months ago".

The walking tour was good and free. I also found out from an angry volunteer in an op shop that the 5 pound notes I was using were old currency.

We returned to our accom, realised that books are heavy and that we have to also pack them and headed out for the evening.  I chose Drake's chips, sausage and curry.  I had finished eating by the time Annette finally got her roast roll. We completed the evening with a ghost tour which was not at all scary, so that was both good and bad news. Editor's note: I still enjoyed the ghost tour as it was all about fun story telling.

What did I learn

A big shout out to our English readers.

Now as I lie on the bed in Singapore, I have to remember the last day.

Ok , I am now in bed at Wattle Grove which makes this whole remember thing a bit tougher.

Back to England and a ridiculous wake up call and the early morning effort of dragging these ever heaving bags up and down more steps. We had chosen our hotel based on its close relation to Paddington Station and the departure point for the second fastest train to heathrow.

To the ticket machine we lumped and got our tickets. Then to the departure screens. mmm. No departures. To the staff member at the gate. Seems as though the wires are down and the train is not going. What? Have I  woken up in Sydney? To the travel centre to get a refund. "No I don't have a receipt". But he refunded us anyway. So our last option was the Tube. My Oyster card was seriously low on funds. A staff member sent us to the green line. The gates were locked. Trackwork! I am in Sydney. Another staff member sent us to the Brown Line to connect with the Blue Line. Damn you heavy bags.  We did somehow get to the airport and even got through the gates. It was probably a good idea not to get a refund on our Oyster cards.

All that was left to do was check in our luggage, hop in our front seats and pray for ice cream on the plane.

Now does anybody know what the point of checking in online is? It changes nothing.

14 hours is a long flight. I am still paying for it all these days later.

So what did I learn?

Food was expensive.

All train companies are the same (that's why Shittyrail got all of the Tube's Managers,  to keep down the standard.....although England is much better.

England is the World's largest stairmaster.

You want books? Don't pack clothes.

Owners of establishments should make their bacon crispy, and have maple syrup on hand to put on it, just like in Singapore.

No matter how far I walked, a 3.1kg increase was probably a good result considering that I am now 50 percent hot chips.

Everything you have heard about the crappy weather is a lie. I almost didn't need my spray jacket.

It is possible to wear the same pair of jeans 21 days straight.

I've been to Liverpool and will not return.

It was my fault

Every holiday I always say before we go anywhere "Have you got the tickets"?

Today I didn't and she didn't have them.

It was like being back at Countrylink. The stupid travel consultant (you know who you are). The railway band playing. The almost missed train. But we made our virgin trip on a Virgin train by the tiniest margin and watched a free movie (are you listening Australia's suckiest train services)?

We arrived in London and spent half of our allotted time with Jeremy trying to find Jeremy. As he went back to work, we took the long cut to our Paddington hotel. Then trains to Oxford Circus (one of us purchased more shoes), then to Trafalgar Square for Annette to go to the art gallery whilst I went for a walk (and purchased a swimming mp3 player, just because). Then back to Paddington and then to Wimbledon to have dinner with Riley and Candi at Jimmy' s. mmmmm, all you can eat buffet. My 4 favourite words. Home, repack and to bed for 4 hours sleep.

Mini Stonehenge

The weather has unwindified so we hopped on the 10am cruise around Derwent Lake. And yes, this is where they make Derwent pencils but we missed that tour as we failed to get the lead out.

Then we hit tiny road diversions before stumbling on mini Stonehenge, aka Castlerigg stone circle.

We then headed to Hadrian's Wall, which we found by accident whilst missing the parts we were looking for. More detours and we hit Twice Brewed and Once Brewed before hitting real roads with actual lanes.

We arrived at our resort in Durham, hit the gym, swam, and sweated, before buffeting in our best fashion. Good thing we exercised.

What men hear

I can't believe that we got up at 7.30 to go to the gym, but we paid for it so to the treadmill and bikes and rowers we went. I then hit the pool for what I thought was 1km of intervals. Turned out to be 600m according to the watch.

With no way of getting the car back to York by 11, we paid for another day's hire. We did the park and ride (shuttle bus into town to avoid cars in tiny streets) and hit Durham. Deja Vu. Castles and a cathedral. First day of uni so both were inaccessible but we did get into one end of the church only to be warned off about taking photos. In this cathedral they filmed some Harry Potter stuff, so I guess filming is ok.

Spent enough time to find a sports store. I have so much cycling stuff now,  but it's all winter stuff. I might have to put it all on tomorrow. Then we drove for the last time on this holiday down tiny streets as we made our way to York. No real scenery, especially for the sleeping navigator. I did see a sign for Linton-on-Ouse and looked out for Delwyn references, but nothing (for family understanding only).

We found our guesthouse down the last tiny street, or gate.
Then what I thought I heard was "the Church are playing in town tonight and we have tickets". What was said was "The evening song in the cathedral starts at 5.15".

The minister did say a prayer for all musicians. I hope that included me. He may not have been a minister but I hope you get the gist.

I did learn that ironically, Dick York was not born in York, but Dick Sargeant was.

Black Valley Revisited.

Yesterday was mostly a dream in driving terms. 3 and 4 lane highways.  Today the navigator set us out on some kind of loop of the lake. Rain, wind, and single lane roads again. Up hill and down hill, stopping so that the navigator / photographer could do her thing. Road diversions, double decker buses. There was even some lake scenery,  a really old bridge, and no chance of a boat trip on the lake because apparently 60 mile hour wind and boats don't get on. Back at home base I got the best parking spot ever and nailed the uphill reverse park in a manual. A small lunch after our oversized breakfast and then just a few shops to check out.