The Cotswolds

Apparently the meaning of the Cotswolds is a place far, far away with scones, jam and cream. After a good drive (good drive in England is not wrecking the hire car), we (me, Annette, Claire and Jeremy) and about 20,000 other people, visited a place starting with B with a small stream and lots of old buildings (Editor's note: Bourton-on-the-water).

From there, Google maps tried to kill us through tiny roads, a local was upset with my parking, but there were more old cottages.......so I'm told. I was car sitting.

Then it was in search of the elusive, yet over abundant, scones. She came, she saw, she ate.

Then we, and the 20,000 other people, headed back to London, slowly.

With trains still stuffed due to trackwork, we decided to find an overnight parking spot in a nearby street instead of returning the car (not due back until 9am).

Chilli noodles to go with the chilli con carne I had for lunch (we had a nice lunch at the first place starting with B) was dinner for me. Goodbye constipation.

We had one job

Another early morning wake up to run the hills, but after syncing problems last night, my Garmin decided for me that it wasn't the watch to race in next week. It wouldn't keep kms or proper speed but at least the music still worked. Run done, it was time to finish the abundant food that our AirBnB host had left us.

We hit the road, this time in the car, and before we knew it, hit traffic. The GPS then diverted us into a tiny half a lane road which did beat the traffic but put my blood pressure through the roof as we encountered bikes, joggers and cars.

On we pressed to Canterbury where another church or two awaited. Being Easter Sunday we got into the cathedral for free.

With a family dinner looming, we continued driving down the highway in the sunshine, listening to the holy trinity of Evie, life couldn't get better.......until that moment at dinner where Riley asked if we had taken the photo of the Calcott sign. We had one job. Doh. (Editor's note: we had promised to take a photo at the namesake town of my niece - sorry Kate!)

A nice dinner was had with our English family. What made it more special for an addict like me was Pepsi Max lime, and strawberry on tap. With the Pepsi Max ginger purchased earlier, I had achieved the holy trinity of soft drinks.

A history lesson, and other stuff

Apparently the Battle of Hastings was all over the inability of William the Conqueror to find a parking spot anywhere near the vicinity of the new castle he was building. He fought some English dude, killed him, took his spot and called himself King of England. As for me, I just walked for 25 minutes to the castle after driving around the town unsuccessfully looking to park the Ford Focus.

Now let's travel back in time a bit, to that moment this morning when I set out for a 60 minute run. It wasn't until I had run a very comfortable first km that I realised it was very downhill, but would be uphill on the return. This pretty much described 10 km.

Back to the B and B where eggs and bacon and croissant and juice awaited. Thank you exercise.

So we did Hastings castle, back home for lunch and a perfectly made burnt toasted sandwich. They have given us so much food and it's bad not to eat it. I even worked out how to use the coffee pod machine.

Then it was off to Rye. Another day, another church.

How soon I forget

Early breakfast was to be followed by a walk to the station and a train and a walk to Avis. Alas, it is Easter, and all around the World,  this means just 1 thing in every major city.........trackwork. Sigh. No replacement bus for us though.  Uber came through within minutes and before too long we were trying to reacquaint ourselves with a manual car and trying to figure out how to navigate with the GPS and listen to MMM Classic Rock at the same time.

London goes on forever, but we finally made it out into the open road before having to find a toilet and get a cup of tea for the passenger. On we drove with Alice Cooper for company.

First stop Dover, where our first intention was to find another toilet. Thank you Pub on the corner. 

British fish and chips (the 't' is silent) on a park bench was followed a trip to an old fortress, and then a long walk along the cliffs of Dover. 

Time seemed to be standing still and some confusion followed. From what we can figure out, we were either in a Harry Potter film, or possibly Dead Pool 2, and travelling through time. Seems as though my watch booked itself into a French satellite hovering above the English Channel and moved itself 1 hour forward in time. So when we saw that the last tour of hidden caves was at 3 pm, and that the time was 3:26 pm, we figured we had missed it. Of course it was really 2:26 pm. Confused? We were, but we only figured it out a lot later.

The Holy Trinity

With nothing planned and breakfast duly completed, it was time to hit the road the best way we know - markets (spent nothing), Hard Rock Cafe (ate lots), Decathlon Sports Store (got a few unnecessary things, and one of us had an altercation with a staff member).

Trains, buses, followed by a jog to the the gym, a 30 minutes spin, another jog and 10 fast intervals. That probably took care of the burger and chips from lunch, although after eating a bowl of deep fried chillies in batter and an extremely large chilli for lunch, the use of exercise for weight loss may not be needed.
A teppenyaki restaurant for dinner followed - dinner and a show at the same time. Chicken or the beef? I chose chicken.  It was here that we met Claire's parents for the first time, and somewhere in the translation between French and English I remember an invitation to their home. Mmmmmm, World Duathlon Championships are in the Netherlands next year. Pop over to France after perhaps? Deal.
All that was left to do was fall to asleep on the train, complete my 28th kilometre for the day, make my way up the 32 steps to our room, and crash.

Lost in Gatwick

Arrived a little late into London, somehow managed to set up my new phone number without getting yelled at and once we breezed through customs, proceeded to catch the same lift up and down, over and over again as our designated pick up gave us instructions not suitable for our tiny brains to comprehend after 24 hours of travel and the torture of a Sandra Bullock movie.  Then, in a Harry Potter moment, and as if conjured up by a Hermione (pronounced Her Me Own) spell, we were at the car. Following was the next spell that actually fitted the all important bike, a suitcase big enough to fit Mad Eyed Moody, my small bag, the hand luggage, and 4 people, into the car.

In no time at all we arrived at our first port of call to drop off luggage, drink tea, or Pepsi Max for those who had travelled half way across the planet without our addiction, and had some chips (or should I say crisps?) and cold pizza. Home away from home.

To our B and B we then travelled and were so happy that the English love affair with stairs was still alive and well. I think I counted 30.
That exercise being not enough, I took a quick jog, in the wrong direction as Google maps continues to confuse me, followed by pizza and passing out.

Say Bye Bye

So in my year or so of training for the World Championsips, I have remembered 3 key points. The first is that chocolate milk is good for recovery. The second is to keep up my salt intake through the eating of salt and vinegar chips (or maybe I just made some of that up), and last, do not watch what the baggage handlers do with your bike. I wish I had paid attention to the last one . Ouch. I hope that the bubble wrap works.

The wait in the Tax Refund Scheme line is always an adventure.  The question often asked by staff is "do you live in Australia?" The response can be yes, no and maybe, usually by the same customer.

I nailed my chicken or beef prediction for the main meal, drank lots of water, lost the battle for the arm rest on both sides, watched movies I had deliberately not seen in case they were on a plane one day, and finally figured out that the best way to sleep is with a musical playlist of songs you have never heard.

Flight was smooth. I seriously didn't even realise we had taken off or landed, apart from the 16 hours in a seat that needed 3 people to make it recline.
Of course, the movie I was watching as we landed in Doha still had 20 minutes to go.....   and it wasn't on the 2nd flight. I cannot believe that in my tired and hungry state,  I settled for a Sandra Bullock movie. The shame will live on forever.