Scorpio - Great disappointment for you when you go to Pickles Auctions but find no mini cucumbers in vinegar.
Libra - You will realise that your cochlear implant is not working too well when you purchase a holiday package you heard on the radio to a hippy retreat. You end up in an African river hoping not to get eaten by crocodiles.
Cancer - You find out that the probability of winning lotto is one in 200 million. You buy enough entries to cover this in the 250 million dollar jackpot week but do not win. Next time, try using different numbers in every square.
Capricorn - You will decide to reduce your medication after putting the hard word on Penelope Pittstop from the Wacky Races, only to have Peter Perfect knock you out. Lucky for you that your dog Mutley is there to save your life and wake you up with his annoying snigger.
Virgo - In a scene very similar to that from Spinal Tap, you will become the architect of the World's tinyest skyscraper.
Gemini - You will get drunk with your best mate and win gold for Australia in the synchronised farting contest. Lucky for you that you are dating a synchronised swimmer and have one of her nose clips handy.
Leo - Your recent steroid use will rear its ugly head when you wake up one morning with two heads.
Taurus - Next time you enter a nude piano accordian contest, remember to wax your chest. Ouch
Aries - Relations between you and your partner will be strained over the misuse of a colander.
Pisces - You discover that your new job as a taxidermist has nothing to do with your ability to drive a car.
Sagitarius - Dismay for you when the doctor who is treating you for your phobia against bad American Country type music is named Hook.
Aquarius - After watching James Bond's "Never Say Never Again", you vow to never say never again only to realise that you just broke your promise.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment