Iguanagate

As a person with average intelligence, depending on who you ask, it is time for me to proclaim to the world that "enough is enough".

It all started in the early 70s in Washington DC at a place called the Watergate Hotel. (by the way, for all you trivia contestants the DC stands for District of Columbia) Ten percent of all trivia nights ask this question. Anyway back to the Watergate Hotel. It's a really nice place but a little bit snooty. Snooty to me is having to pay for somebody to carry your bags. I managed to scam a free night there a couple of years back, but being Australian, resented having to give up my hard earned for somebody to carry my undies and show me how to open a door.

But I digress. I have no journalistic background but realise that a journalist must have resticted time between getting the story and getting the story in print or on air. Finding all the facts, every last details, all of the nitty gritty behind a story must really be a tough gig.

What really annoys me is the total lack of imagination that the media have in coming up with a name for a scandal. Are we the public so stupid that we can't focus our attention unless the scandal has a name?

Watergate. That was a big scandal. Big repercussions. Careers ruined. It was named after the place where the scandal occurred, the Watergate Hotel. A real no brainer, but it worked.

So why has every scandal ever since have to had the suffix "gate" added to the end of it? Really, what does Nannygate, Sirengate, Spygate, Nipplegate, Grannygate or the latest Iguanagate have in common with a gate? Nothing. Whether it's the journalist or some other idiot coming up with the headlines, you all need to take a good look at yourselves. Whacking a "gate" on the end of another word or place just doesn't cut it with me anymore. Use you but please, no more gates.

What would happen if there were a scandal pertaining to Bill Gates? Would you call it Bill Gatesgate? I hope not but fear that this would be the case.

It's time for us all to take a stand. A bit of creativity is all that I am asking for.

We all remember seeing Justin Timberlake ripping off Janet Jackson's outfit and revealing a breast. Nipplegate. That's all that they could come up with. Give me a break. What about "rip a nip"? That's the headline I would have liked to read.

At the moment it's Iguanagate - What the hell does that mean?

If you can't think of a good headline, employ somebody to do it. If you already do employ somebody to come up with these things, they are not doing their job very well.

But please, I don't want to hear another gate until I am entering the pearly ones. Until then please let the gates rest in peace.