Big boy pants

So last night we decided to do washing. The machine seemed to work, but washing without water is not ideal unless you run a dry cleaning business. This apartment is full of make believe appliances.

We finally figured out the water tap was turned off. So we put in all our clothes, washed them, but the water doesn't empty. So clothes transported upstairs to kitchen sink for a rinse before wringing and hanging on the indoor drying line. The clothes would dry overnight in this heat. Wrong. Still wet with just gravity pulling the water down. That's OK. We had clean clothes. Just.  

Leaving our clothes to dry, we headed into the 30 something degree morning to our cathedral appointment (the Milan Duomo). 

At 9amish we checked out the inside ... Stained glass? Check. Big columns? Check. Lots of really weird religious paintings? Check. Yep, this is a European cathedral. 

Then at 10ish, because staff only started setting up at 10 when our time slot started, we caught a lift to the roof and checked it out for an hour. Pretty spectacular, and I will never understand how it's built. What goes up, must use stairs on the way down. 

Long pants were a requirement for this cathedral as when God came up with the concept of knees, he didn't realise how ugly they looked, so henceforth in certain places they are banned.

For those who disobey, you are force to tour in a paper surgical gown, provided by the church. 

Lunch time and bad food needed. We found the famous shopping plaza Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II,

walked around lost for a bit and stumbled upon Burger King for our first real holiday indulgence of burgers that promise so much, only to offer not that much. But the concept of the cheese nachos on a burger did intrigue me and the onion rings were really good. 

Back home via metro and Pepsi stockist to our still wet clothes. It's so hot that the sweat from your body has already evaporated before it makes your clothes wet, yet in an apartment seemingly hotter than outside, all clothes are still wet.

Annette had a nap while I walked up and down the street for an hour, holding shirts and socks and undies in the sun in a last ditch drying effort. I had some success. 

The aircon worked for 5 minutes this afternoon. A miracle from above, or just the owners trying to stop a bad review. The leftover socks and unmentionables better dry overnight.

5pm nuggets and salad, then off to see Bruce at Stadio San Siro. We trammed it until the tram just terminated for no reason. Google found us a metro but the doors closed before we could get off at our stop, as it was so packed. Luckily Google was again wrong and we got off at the next stop, which was the stadium.

We made it in, had our water bottle caps ripped off and after a lengthy walk, found gate 7. Unfortunately the lane to gate 7 snaked all around to gate 8 maybe 150m away from the entry. Then, because I had covered my knees earlier in the day, or just by pure good luck, they let us in gate 8 whilst those who were in the middle of that line for ages, had to wait.

The walk up the stairs to our seats was a long one, but you have to burn your Pepsi calories somehow. 

Seats were good with nobody in front except the hordes of people walking in front who hadn't got to their seats on time. 

The seats at the top of the stadium reminded me of those that caged chicken live in. Every row had its own barriers.

Next to me was a couple. She sat next to me and proceeded to dance in my personal space too many times for my liking. I am advised the dancing was overly enthusiastic - Annette referred to it as full body dancing. I focused on the stage, but did note that he spent the entire concert looking at his phone. Very bizarre.

The concert was excellent and perhaps the loudest I had been to (maybe the second half of Neil Young at the Ent Cent was louder. I wonder if I saw guitarist Nils Lofgren at both?).

Bruce played less than 3 hours, but it's hot and nearing the end of his tour, so I will not criticise a 6 minute early mark. 

So how do we get home? Miraculously we found tram 16 going in our direction, got on first, got seats and found our stop. 

A short walk, then ice blocks (the fridge and freezer were standouts in a place where appliances come to pretend). There was too much Pepsi to carry tomorrow so a midnight sugar free before night night hit the spot.

The Last Supper

It's been over 2 days since today happened. I took down notes but the ridiculous heat of summer in Milan, both indoors and out, has taken its toll on my ability to remember.

First stop after leaving the sauna house was to see the Last Supper painting on a wall of a monastery done by some guy called Da Vinci.

Painted over a 4 year period because he had other things to do, it was quite impressive in a very unimpressive building once used by Napoleon as a stable (somebody has been paying attention to our guide today).

After an early arrival, we had to run back to the ticketing area to put our bags with drinks in lockers. This happened just as we were entering to see the painting. They said food and drink was OK. I heard it. Another lost in translation moment.

Painting was good. You get 15 minutes exactly, so make sure to have a look at the other painting in the room by a guy called Not Da Vinci.

Tour done, we made our way to catch a train with the last of our free day passes because nobody checked for tickets on a previous train trip.

A one hour trip in aircon is heaven.

Lake Como was a lake. It had boats and people and out of my price range houses in the hills overlooking the water. 

There was an impressive vintage car show of vehicles whose owners also owned the hillsides around the lake.

We walked, we looked, we had lunch at a real café. The day after declaring she was done with eating spaghetti bolognaise, Annette had the beef ragu, which was essentially spaghetti bolognaise with tagliatelli. Go figure.

I went with my first chef prepared pizza with tomato, basil and goat mozzarella. Crispy and soft at the same time. It was a 7/10.

The town done and one double ice cream consumed by not me, we took another aircon train back to Milan, caught the metro, did our food and Pepsi shopping and headed back to a way too hot apartment to eat chicken nuggets and salad with the last balsamic dressing bottle we will use this holiday.

Disney+ installed to the bedroom TV, we watched half of the Force Awakens and wondered if "the light saber chooses the owner" comment was first or if JK Rowling stole that too about wands, while quickly falling to sleep with a Restavit because it is just so damned hot.

The heat is on

Up at 5:30 for our 6:45 train to Milan. A short walk to the station, we found our train, took a few tries to get the qr code to work to get on the platform (it only would work once so the train worker finally gave up and let Annette in). 

Our carriage was actually 3 carriages, so of course we went in the wrong door. We found our seats, moved our luggage about 3 carriages and away we went through mountains, fields of corn and grapes and what I think was rice. Seven hours with Disney+ refusing to play downloads. Some of us were lucky enough to have HBO Max downloads. A packet of chips and lemon juice got me through the trip.

It was a good train, on time, but if you intend catching trains in Europe, bring your own food (expensive).

Arriving in Milan we went through the shoddiest passport control ever. Some were checked and some not. Our passports were glanced at and Hello Italy. 

Our next mission was an Uber to our newest apartment. 29 euros was the quote. We asked a taxi driver how much and he said it all depends on the meter, about 20 euros.

11.20 euros later (no traffic on Saturdays) we were fighting with how to get into our accommodation. Finally the iron gate opened. Next was the door to the main building. We had to wait 2 minutes, press a button and the door would open. Fyi, it did not open at 90 seconds. If we were in an Indiana Jones movie being chased by tribesmen with spears, we were screwed.

Next the apartment door. We entered the secret code, turned the special lock anti-clockwise, as per instructions, and did not enter.

Spears were hitting the door all around us. Eventually, I went clockwise, we got in, I dropped my hat, but managed to grab it just before the door slammed shut.

It's hot outside, maybe 32. Our unit is hotter. The aircon, both up and down stairs, goes through the motions of cooling, without actually cooling. They were made by the Placebo air-conditioning company of Milan. 

By 4 pm, we were out walking and doing stuff on the list for tomorrow. The later it got, the hotter it got. We grabbed some little doughy tomato -based snacks for a very late lunch and proceeded.

There were castle walls, a gay pride roller blade group, a metro ride, a lie down in the shade of the park, and a trip to buy food for dinner and breakfast. 

I had my first Italian pizza ... from the freezer section of Carrefour. I got the cheap one and when about to cook was saddened by broccoli and either eggplant or zucchini on it. Never buy the cheapest.