For some of us males in the World, today is a momentous occasion. In fact it may just be the start of mens liberation. We, however are not burning our bras. Well I can only speak personally. Why burn my bra when it may come in handy for other uses.
What I am talking about out here in the greater west on our "lets look casual Friday" is the fact that unless for some unforeseen circumstance, I will never have to wear a ###### tie again. Thats it. No more pretending that my top button is done up. I didn't do a good job of pretending did I?
It does leave me with a number of dilemas.
Why, on "lets look casual Friday" when 75% of staff are looking immaculate in @@@@@ polo blue, is one staff member wearing a white shirt and a tie?
The other main dilema, apart from how do I spell dilema (one or two m's) is what to do with the old ties. I am looking for suggestions.
With the weather warming up and the tomato plants thriving, I will need something to tie up the plants to the stakes. A ****** tie is the perfect thing. Its also ugly enough to scare off any animal that may want to duck into my vegetable garden. Maybe I could use it as a headband for my Cronulla Sharks garden gnome
Perhaps in the hotter months we could get our ties together and make the thing that Borat was wearing in his movie. Surely a good look to bring customers back.
My biggest dilema however is where am I going to hide my name badge now? Its been attached to the bottom of my tie for years, ever since the Evil Emperor made me wear it. I took it off yesterday and it had started to rust.
Apparently %$#$%$$# were surprised by the large amount of orders for the blue shirts and ran out. Did they think that we were all going to get the white shirts with ties?
Anyway all you males out there, enjoy your liberation. Enjoy the fact that your natural voice will now be heard by the masses without the strangulating effect of buttons and ties. Enjoy the fact that you can now get the perfect "V" suntan on your neck when you are gardening, on your weekends off, in your %%%%%blue shirt (oops, sorry, thats a Parramatta thing).
Enjoy the fact that you can now eat a salad sandwich at luchtime and not have to duck into the toilets to wash the nasty beetroot stain from your shirtfront. Of course as a tradeoff, we can no longer spill liquid paper on our shirts.
Lastly, enjoy the fact, that from this day on, everyday at work will now become "lets look casual...insert day of the week here".
Of course I may not have taken into account that some of you may have may have ordered a white shirt requiring a tie. To you I sincerely say, "sucked in" and must inform you that you are not invited to any "lets look casual days" where you are wearing your tie.
Friday, November 7, 2008
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
20 to 1
For starters, what has happened to Bert Newton's head. Seriously, if he is doesn't look like an older version of Jake from two and a half men, then my contact lenses need replacing.
Anyway, Tuesday night must be a slow night on the old television because I found myself watching that stupid 20 to 1 show about chart flops. What the show was about and what it was called seemed to be totally different things. "Chart Flops" it said. They would show some former soap opera star or movie star or model or whoever was not known for their singing ability and make fun of the job they had done as a singer. Now one of the artists, and I apologise for forgetting who, actually sold over 6 million records in the UK alone. It might have been Jason Donovan, but I have trained my mind to delete any such reference in case I have a flashback moment to his wedding with Charlene on Neighbours. To my way of thinking, a chart flop would mean the song sucked and it didn't sell too well. Let's face it, some of the songs sucked, but I wish I could be a failure and sell 6 million copies.
What about the Chantoozies. The caption comes up on the screen that they had other hit songs. So how does that make it a chart flop?
The whole problem with this crap show is the title. By making it 20 to 1, they have to find 20 items for their show. They just can't do it. They find 6 or 7 and then fill the other ones with stuff that doesn't fit the criteria.
Channel nine, you are making me very angry. Not only don't your shows ever run on time, but I bet later in the summer I am going to have to suffer listening to Bill Lawry and Tony Greig.
Here is an idea. The 20 to 1 things I most hate about channel nine. Stay tuned.
Anyway, Tuesday night must be a slow night on the old television because I found myself watching that stupid 20 to 1 show about chart flops. What the show was about and what it was called seemed to be totally different things. "Chart Flops" it said. They would show some former soap opera star or movie star or model or whoever was not known for their singing ability and make fun of the job they had done as a singer. Now one of the artists, and I apologise for forgetting who, actually sold over 6 million records in the UK alone. It might have been Jason Donovan, but I have trained my mind to delete any such reference in case I have a flashback moment to his wedding with Charlene on Neighbours. To my way of thinking, a chart flop would mean the song sucked and it didn't sell too well. Let's face it, some of the songs sucked, but I wish I could be a failure and sell 6 million copies.
What about the Chantoozies. The caption comes up on the screen that they had other hit songs. So how does that make it a chart flop?
The whole problem with this crap show is the title. By making it 20 to 1, they have to find 20 items for their show. They just can't do it. They find 6 or 7 and then fill the other ones with stuff that doesn't fit the criteria.
Channel nine, you are making me very angry. Not only don't your shows ever run on time, but I bet later in the summer I am going to have to suffer listening to Bill Lawry and Tony Greig.
Here is an idea. The 20 to 1 things I most hate about channel nine. Stay tuned.
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