Punishment for our sins

Annette had it all worked out. We had to have breakfast at Yolk. It must be good if there are 50 people in line waiting for their name to be called. Finally "Annette" was announced and away we went.

I was good. Half a pineapple, greek yoghurt, strawberries and granola with an oversized muffin/cake.

Annette was bad. French toast, maple syrup, bacon. She would pay for this.

We dropped in on a grocery store for a packet of cereal and milk for the next few days. Then we were off. 

On a great day weather wise we walked around 15km. Went to soldier field, the planetarium , by the Lake and then headed off to a golf shop. 

This is where i was punished. It was surrounded by material shops . I bought nothing but a shirt. Annette went mildly crazy as her baggage allowance decreased. We even dropped in at Target to have a great conversation with a big breasted employee on the virtue of underwire in bras. 

Leg weary, we then headed off to Ginos for an authentic Chicago deep dish pizza and a bowl of chilli. Its a good thing we forfeited lunch, apart from a late Dunkin Donuts exploration. The wait to get in Ginos was 50 minutes. A good sign in the end.

Once again the gym was closed when we got back. Those large shirts that I'm buying may soon be xl.

318 is the new 618

Maybe I got a few minutes of sleep in the flight but I doubt it. Annette got some because she was trapped between 2 friends who didn't want to sit next to each other, so she had nowhere to go.

We arrived on time at around 130pm, made our way smoothly through customs and made the long walk to our train into the city. Checked in around 4pm. Thats when being awake for 24 hours hit me. I tried hard to stay awake but kept drifting off. 

Eventually we got ready to eat realising it was over 12 hours since real food. Finally after much walking and menu checking we decided that P F Changs was the choice. Of course Chinese was the natural choice after Hong Kong. 

Back to the room I flicked between sport channels. We washed our clothes and drifted off for a good sleep.....that lasted 3 hours.

We successfully managed to get back to sleep over and over again. We should be out of here by 9. Breakfast? I'm sure there is a giant donut out there with my name on it.

Those 3 Words........as long as I'm counts as 1

And "Please turn off the light" I think as I struggle to get to sleep. Finally I give up trying and open my eyes. The floor below is littered with chip and toblerone wrappers. For good measure there is also an apple core.

Slowly I turn to my left. This is not my beautiful house. This is not my beautiful wife. My God, how did I get here?

Lets cue the "going back to the past" music from a few days ago. Its a little different as I've added a few "do do da wad do do's" to make it a bit more contemporary.

So after finally getting to sleep despite the sound of jackhammers some 17 floors below, i woke up this morning at precicely 618. That is my going to work wake up time. My "let's get up for work" side of the brain is winning the fight against "it's holidays" side of the brain. 

So we slowly got ready and headed down to get some breakfast before leaving for the airport. Once we had finished our smoothy we bid farewell to Butterfly on Hollywood and began the short walk to our airport shuttle departure. The street looked almost new. Jackhammer Guy had done well.

Got to the train station to check our bags  through to Chicago (you can't do that from Sydney Central) only to find that we couldn't do it here either. Something about "your seats have not been allocated". Now that's the moment that a small cartoon light bulb should have turned on over our heads. 

We tried to do a check in at the self check in terminal. Nothing and still no light bulb. 

We hopped onto the world's most luxurious airport train.....Tax Deduction...realising that those responsible for the Cityrail equivalent did very little research before going ahead.  

24 minutes later we arrived and given the choice of terminal 1 or 2, chose poorly. Still, the 5 minutes of extra walking would do us good. We found our line and Counter C25 called us up.

After about a minute she uttered those words that nobody facing a 14 hour flight wants to hear. 

"I'm so sorry but your flight is full"

Now you all know the annoying I Bought a Jeep ad in the Chinese restaurant where woman 2 reads her fortune and everything goes quiet? Well everything went quiet.

Annette went through the whole Seinfeld Rental Car episode about The reservation, whilst I stood safely some 30 metres away. The airline lady instructed us to come back at 11. 

We went to eat our banana and walnut muffins to contemplate the possibility of a midnight flight to New York connecting to Miami connecting to Chicago. The holiday would be over by the time we arrived.

So anyway, no, this is not my beautiful wife. It's a woman from Adelaide next to her husband with me in exit row 59k.

The last I saw of Annette in my quest for snack food, her head was wobbling as she tries to sleep in centre seat 72e.

Oh, yes, I did get another patting down by customs. They always ask if I mind but as I'm not really in the mood for a strip search, I really have to agree. 

Oh, I had the chicken.

So by my calculations, we are over 7 hours into our flight. It's dinner time in Hong Kong but breakfast time in Chicago. All attempts to adjust my body clock by sleeping from midnight to 6am Chicago have failed. My only concerns now are whether to watch episode 5 and 6 of Breaking Bad, eat more Toblerone or have a packet of chips. 

Why not all three? I say.

48 Hours

As I sit on the 6X bus to.....sigh.... Stanley Markets I can quickly run through the time leading into our 1110am departure.

48 hours? That's how long it's been since the toilets at Sydney Airport. Here we go again, you're thinking, but you have to expect it.

Anyway, I'm backed up as Kramer would say and i'm heading to a place where I have had previous issues. On my first visit to the markets many years ago, I needed to "go" really badly, walked into the toilets, immediately walked out, and held it in for hours. 

So you see, every minute I don't go is another minute closer to when I have to go, and the possibility it happens at My nemesis, the Stanley Markets toilets, gets more real. I am prepared with toilet roll, should nature scream.

So we finally headed off to breakfast at Maccas where I found the shocking truth, that Annette had never eaten a sausage patty there. And you think you know  some people. 

Then it was off to the nearest citibank atm to learn that my debit card wasn't working. With the need for money quite important I tried contacting citibank Australia. No good. This could be an interesting holiday. Fortunately I had some US Dollars that we could change.

The shopper in Annette said "well now we have to spend it at the markets". Sigh 

The bus trip is one of the best and by midday we made it. After shopping, a quick lunch(3 hours later) we concluded that the markets just did not seem as big as they used to be. We made sure we had everything. Shirts? Check. Presents?  Check. Coconut? Check and don't ask. 

It's so hot. Still no need for toilet paper. We headed back to Central where Annette stated that she wanted to go to Maccas to get an ice cream. This is our favourite Maccas in the World. Of course she didn't realise that it was on the other island. No problem. We caught a ferry to buy ice cream. Mission accomplished, we headed back to Central, checked out some shops, ate some Vietnamese and walked back to the hotel.

And finally as we pressed 17 on Hong Kongs slowest lift, it was time to go.  

Annette has collapsed on the bed. We still need to pack, are almost out of local money, but luckily, the citibank card is working (if you call that lucky)

My Rookie Mistake

Where were we? We finally got underway only 6 1/2 hours late. Captain Aussie Accent had been replaced by Captain British Accent. No problems as they both fly on the same side of the sky. Two meals, several tv shows, a movie and no sleep (at least by me) later we arrived just after midnight. It took so long to get here that I feel like I have aged a year.

An hour and $300 later we arrived at our hotel and made it to sleep by 2am. I think I had been awake for 22 hours.

Day 2 began 5 hours after day 1 ended, with no real plans. First stop, a possibly healthy smoothie across the road followed by a walk through the humidity.

A quick ferry ride across the harbour got us to what I refer to as the other side if the harbour. In the past we have always stayed on the other side to where we are staying now. All I can remember from the past is the Maccas near the jetty. It's on the other side. I'm sort of out of it at the moment. Sorry.

So anyway, to my rookie mistake. You've all seen those child restraints to stop kids running away. Demeaning perhaps, but useful. So as we wander through the streets with our complimentary smart phone equipped with gps, I advised Annette that I would go into the Adidas store. We agree to meet in the Giordano store across the road. I arrived at the meeting point 10 minutes later. No Annette. I waited. No Annette. I contemplated my chances of finding my way back to the hotel by myself. Still no Annette. Maybe she had gone back to Adidas. I took 10 steps and by chance looked to my left.

There she sat in the electronics/ camera store. I rushed in "stop everything" I yelled in my head. But alas, things had progressed too far. Using the old "you're my first customer and you bring me luck" tactic, a deal was made. The credit card drew a heavy sigh and new camera parts were acquired. 

I did learn how to put a screen protector on a phone without getting bubbles. The secret is dabbing with sticky tape to remove dust, so all was not lost.

We continued but after knocking back over 100 requests to buy a watch or get a suit made we headed back on the ferry to have lunch.

It keeps pouring with rain, but it's so humid that the rain is actually drier than the humidity. 

Yum Cha for lunch in the restaurant we took the kids to and rather unsuccessfully attempted to get them to eat many years ago. 4 savory and 3 desserts was about normal with the last minute custard tarts saving the day. Annette + yum cha - custard tarts = not good. 

So very sleepy. Resting and writing but realising that soon we are heading to the, gulp, night markets. 

Now where is that child restraint?

A couple of trains later we hit the night markets just as the heavens opened. That didn't slow down our market expert though, but this was really just a warm up for tomorrow, when we make our way to Stanley Markets where I desperately need to find clothes to make up for the fact that I may just have packed a little lightly.

Dinner was a flashback to years gone by at the spaghetti House. we were then forced to buy a chocolate walnut fudge in order to break a 50 as we needed smaller notes to buy our train tickets. Sometimes you just have to make sacrifices.

A Faulty Johnson Rod

Free lunch. Woo hoo.

So here i sit at 158pm near gate 37 at Sydney Airport waiting to board my flight that is due to leave at 4pm, but was originally due to leave at 1005am before it was changed to 1120am. But first we need to go back back back (cue going back in time music) to the start of the day.

Woke early only to receive a message from Cathay Pacific that our flight would be delayed a bit over one hour. Excellent. I wouldn't have to wake up our grumpy ride to the station early. But we did anyway. It did give me the chance to walk to the shops in order to buy a loaf of bread for soon to be chefless son. We are away 26 days, so yeah, a loaf should see him through.

Then my mind set to breakfast. What's the best food for travelling in a crowded cylinrical and air conditioned container? Mmmmm why not finish that can of baked beans?

To the airport we went. At the speed of Cityrail we travelled. Checked in our bags in no time at all, having to pause briefly for photos as I won an award for "lowest weight of luggage" for the category of 26 days or more away. 9.6kg. A new record!

Then we joined the longest queue ever, until we joined our next queue, which broke the record of the last queue.

Once again they chose my chiselled specimen for the full body scan. As the only passenger in the airport wearing shorts and a t shirt it was just natural that I was trying to hide something. The scan indicated that I needed to be "patted down" unless I wanted the alternative. Visions of that Blink 182 album cover shot through my mind, so patting down it was. Cue Seinfeld reference 2, the title being number 1. After a light patting down of my thighs, it didn't move. Apparently it was just my suspicious hanky.

Annette proceeded to claim back $57 of gst for spending a fortune which may come in handy if it reaches our credit card before the end of the trip. 

To gate 37 we went where we were just in time to wait, until we boarded the plane where we waited until our Captain, and I cant remember his name, advised us that a light was flashing on his dashboard. Immediately, the international traveller in me suspected Johnson Rod. " this could take a while" i thought. Then halfway through Family Guy we were told to get off the flight. Then we got our $20 hush voucher. What 2 people could spend $40 in lunch? One hamburger, one steak sandwich and a pepsi max later, lunch cost an additional$1.50.

Thats when everything that has happened so far proved to work out.

You see, had we been mid air at the time of the completion of the hamburger, just at the time the baked beans kicked in, then the proximity of the toilet on the plane in relation to our seats may well have caused a problem.

That's it so far. Still waiting to leave and listening to the staff talk about overtime.